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Episode Transcript:

Welcome back to another episode of my pet peeves series where I set out to dismantle common myths about starting and growing your own business.

Have you heard of the instant gratification monkey?

Tim Urban talks about him in his TED Talk called “Inside the Mind Of a Master Procrastinator“). Very funny, definitely worth watching. He says that we procrastinate because we listen to the instant gratification monkey that's sitting on our shoulder suggesting we do stuff that's way more fun now rather than doing what we need to do to achieve something we want in the future.

It made me giggle but, to be honest, I can't relate to it in the context of procrastination (and procrastination is a topic for another day).

But I see that cheekly little monkey causing a lot of trouble in other ways ..

Here is a conversation I've had:

“I've done everything but it's just not working!” .. “What have you done?” “I've put flyers out all over town” “Ok, what else?” “What do you mean?” ..

.. and yes, that's a real conversation, I'm not making this up ..

Here is another one:

“This website isn't working! I haven't had a single order!” .. “How long has it been up?” “3 weeks!!” .. I won't go into the rest of THAT conversation.

How about this one?

“I really work hard to grow my business but my family and friends aren't supporting me” .. yep, welcome to the club! Family and friends will often congratulate you on the new business but do very little in the form of active support to help you get that baby off the gound. Sometimes they'll openly try to discourage you.

Sometimes the monkey takes a different shape ..

I've recently been called a podcast doula because I help people bring their podcast into the world.

It's amazing how often people say .. “I want to start a podcast but I need to find a way to monetize it” ..

or

“How do I build an audience for my podcast?” Well, just like you would build any other audience .. there is no magic podcast audience builder button that makes you famous over night ..

Actually, now that I think of it, maybe we should call it the “instant validation monkey” ..

Because the question really is ..

How much effort are you prepared to put into your business before you expect a return in the form of some type of recognition?

How long before you feel disappointed and discouraged when you don't get the support or validation you hoped for?

I often say to people .. be prepared .. this will likely take a lot longer than you think .. and part of the intention for the Passion Business Podcast is to demonstrate that through the stories my guests share.

.. and everybody agrees, in theory everybody knows it .. until .. they've written 3 posts on LinkedIn with little engagement and wonder whether they should go on because “it's just not working”.

I'm not saying you shouldn't feel disappointed or discouraged.

I'm certainly not saying it's fun when you work your butt off and nobody seems to care.

And yes, in case you're wondering, I'm speaking from experience .. it's easy to forget now, almost 16 years later, but I ran around Granada distributing flyers for my sewing business for over a year before I got that first big order.

I'm not saying I didn't wish for the people I knew to share my website, for the flamenco dancers I knew to order at least a skirt or something. But frankly, they didn't owe me anything. My fledging sewing business was important to me, not to them, until .. THEY needed something, until there was something in it for THEM to pass on my number.

I'm not saying dealing with a sense of “I'm not getting anything back for all the work I put in” is easy or fun.

What I am saying is that a good way to get an idea of why people don't go out of their way to promote your business or your content is to check your own email sent folder or social media profiles .. when is the last time you shared or wrote about something someone in your circle is doing, something you've got nothing to do with, just to support them .. ? What and why people share things is a subject in itself.

But basically, what I am saying is that validation from the people close to you (or lack thereof) does not say anything about your chances of success. Whether or not you allow your dissappointment and feelings of discouragement to get in the way of taking action consistently .. that IS an indication of how likely success is.

You don't need instant validation, you need stamina.

And you need to understand that people not responding the way you'd like in the timeframe you'd like is nothing personal, it says nothing about you, your skills, your potential or anything.

It just means you've got work to do.